let’s be each other’s light

by The Dreamer

A few days ago, I turned seventeen. To me, being seventeen somehow felt like a greater deal than being eighteen. It was as if in many novel plots, the protagonist experienced the greatest drama in their life when they were seventeen and thus I had been anticipating this transition of age more than ever.

I felt really really blessed this year. Blessed by the outpour of “happy birthdays” I had received from my friends and family on my various social media platforms. Even just a simple “Happy Birthday” comment on twitter or instagram or snapchat would have made me grin foolishly at my phone. It seemed like when distance was a factor in our lives, people start to take more notice and concern of each other. It seemed like more people wished me than last year. And I was eternally grateful for that.

And then I am also so, so blessed to have found friends that I could trust in my new school. We may not be the loudest, the most popular clique. But I felt so much love and happiness from spending time with Jane and Rachael. I have always believed that people that take the time to be kind are the most beautiful. Jane and Rachael have proved to be not only beautiful on the outside (seriously, both of them are really attractive) but also on the inside. It’s rare to be able to form such a tight-knitted relationship within three months but I feel so close and connected to them. We share secrets, troubles, lighthearted matters and we tease, taunt and laugh at each other. We feel genuinely excited when we see each other’s love interests and we edge each other on. And the fact that they even bothered to get me a present (and to such lengths) made me feel really touched. I love how the three of us will somehow drift away from the noise and the action of the class and are content with just sitting at the edge of the class bench on the steps, facing the sunlight and talking about everything, sometimes not even talking at all and just enjoying the companionship and the comfortable silence. To me, I’ve always battled with wanting to be included in the weight of things, not just acknowledging my presence but feeling my existence. But now, I’m perfectly fine with not flowing with the strong current, not hanging out with the “popular crowd”. And this is good. This feels really good.

Looking back, I’m also really happy to have found my true bro and gotten close to him platonically. He’s a really sweet and trustworthy guy (and I can have faith that he’s never going to look at my blog again because he’s too embarrassed haha.) I’ve never found someone that is on such a similar frequency as me. We have #truebrogoals haha. I may not be the closest to him as he is to so many other people (he’s seriously on high demand to be honest) but at least he is someone I can confide to and be comfortable with.

Lastly, I would like to thank all my current besties and close friends as well. Special mention to these two favourites: Cherylene, for her super lovely cacti which I have not named (and will not until I have nursed the last one back to health…that poor soul) and Kahei, for all her support and her love and how I can really tell her anything and how she is so, so forgiving.

This month has been a heavy-hearted month, with the passing of our dear founder Lee Kuan Yew that has brought the entire nation to immense grief. But I take solace that we have each other. I have all the people in my life that are unwavering sources of light, and I hope that we will stick to the status quo for eternity.

Let’s be each other’s lights. I really hope that I can also serve to be someone that my friends can confide to and seek comfort from. I want to be there for them just like how they were always there for me. I really, really feel immensely happy with my life right now and other things such as academics even seem secondary…if not unimportant to me. And I feel really saddened that almost all of them are keeping little burdens in their heart but still manage to smile for me. All of them are facing their own problems, like Jane and Rachael with their love affairs, and yet they still get SO excited when I have progress with mine. Cherylene and Kahei  and even my bro with their decisions in their lives, and yet they still take time off to celebrate my birthday and allow me to bask in the glory of being seventeen. It makes me feel really blessed to have such selfless, beautiful people in my life – how they selflessly shed light onto my life even when theirs is slightly dimmed. I really wish to be able to do something…anything to make them feel better. But I believe that good things will happen to kind people, eventually.

钧 x x

j e a n x x