Let’s Love | Pink Dot SG 2015

by The Dreamer

I just got back home from Pink Dot SG 2015, which, if you did not know, is a non-profit movement for everyone, straight or gay, to support the freedom to love. This was my virgin experience, so I am now officially “deflowered”, and even now, I’m still overwhelmed in a good way. I just needed to pen down all the emotions I’m going through.

Admittedly, at first, I was hesitant. My parents were not against it, but they were always wary of me openly supporting it. “Accept it quietly, and tolerate it, but there’s no need to openly support it, Jean.” They always used to tell me. But in the end, with a little push from Carmen, I thought, “Ah, heck it.” and just told my parents that I would be attending it last night. I didn’t ask for permission — it was just me informing them that I wouldn’t be needing dinner. Surprisingly, my parents were okay with it. My mother excitedly helped me pick out my pink outfit, and my dad told me, with warmth in his voice, “I want you to be in charge of your choices and decisions, without us swaying your opinions about anything. So you should go if you want to. It’ll be a good experience.” But before that, he did ask me why I felt strongly about attending Pink Dot, and I could hear him trying to hold back something in his voice, as if wanting to ask me, “Are you…gay?” Pft Dad, no. I’m not gay. I just told him simply, “I feel that everyone deserves the freedom to love.” And that was that. He didn’t pursue further. And so the next day, I found myself amongst a sea of pink.

It was such a lovely sight. The moment we walked out of the train station, we saw a bombardment of different hues of pink, moving and buzzing and full of life. I kept telling Carmen, “there’s so much to see. I’m so overwhelmed,” and it was true. I was trying my best to take in everything, and for the first time in very very very long, I felt like my breath was being taken away. There were people in flamboyant outfits, gay couples openly holding hands and an astounding number of smiling faces. There was so much positivity and happiness in the most genuine and pure form.

I don’t really know how to describe it, but it almost felt surreal, and kind of like I was thrown into a fairytale. I felt like Rapunzel in Tangled, who had just stepped into the town and was welcomed with so much celebration and activity, and it felt so foreign but at the same time, it felt like I had always belonged there. Here is a GIF that pretty much summed up what I was like the entire time:

My writing must be getting rusty, to be resorting to GIFs to sum up my feelings, but oh well.

After much exploring, we settled down on an empty patch of grass, and while Carmen was off printing our photos, I was just silently observing everyone around me. There was so much laughter, chatter and positive talk. Beside us were a group of adult friends who had brought their dog along, and even the dog was so happy! He kept wagging his tail and multiple times he even trotted over to our picnic mat and rested his head on my knee. I couldn’t contain the grin on my face the entire time.

The concert began, and sadly, there were too many people standing before us so we could not see the stage at all. Boohoo for height disadvantage. But the music was good and there was dancing and singing along, especially to Gentle Bones. I remember being really ecstatic when he came up and Carmen and I were singing at the top of our lungs and swaying along to his songs.

Then, of course. The magical moment. After some touching talks from the ambassadors and the most emotional rendition of the national anthem ever, we did our countdown, and then this happened:

It really touched me to be surrounded by a huge crowd of likeminded people, and knowing that they are open and accepting and non-judgemental of one’s sexuality and gender preferences. I remember seeing kissing and embracing when the torches lit up the faces of the people around me, and bathed in a pink glow, everyone looked up at the pink LED heart formed on the surface of the building and cheered. There was an overwhelming outpour of love, affection and positivity. I wanted to relive that moment over and over and over again. I remember seeing this cute guy holding the hand of another guy and there was a smile in his voice as he said, “Yeah, I’m with my boyfriend right now!” and I just thought it was the cutest thing ever. I also remember this guy who stood blindfolded with his arms wide open, and by his feet was a sign stating “Hug me if you think everyone deserves love.” Come to think of it, I should’ve hugged him. Why didn’t I? Meh. Hopefully he’s there next year. I’ll squeeze the life out of him.

It was just a really perfect night and I’m grateful to be able to deviate from my negative thoughts for once. It really filled my heart to the brim with positivity and love. I was lonely for countless nights, but tonight, I feel alive with the warmth of that pink glow embracing me and lighting up the darkness that I found myself trapped in for weeks. And tonight I will go to sleep with that goofy grin on my face and no noisy thoughts battling my dreams and my sanity.

Here are some pictures to sum up this wonderful, ethereal night. It truly was a fairytale, where every single couple out there in the park was met with a happily-ever-after.

pinkdot1 pinkdot2 pinkdot3 pinkdot4 pinkdot5 pinkdot6 pinkdot7 carmenandmepinkdotRegards,

钧 x x

Jean x x